The Beginning of Myself

Beschreibung

We grow up with the idea that we are a person – a body-mind trying to survive and succeed in the world. We become identified with a personal story. But this turns out to be a misidentification.
‘I need to discover who I really am,’ you say to yourself. But have you ever stopped to think about this strange statement? Who is actually looking for whom? There is something fundamentally strange about the whole idea of ‘searching for myself.’ Try this: Close your eyes and try to find yourself. Not your body – you can feel that. Not your thoughts – you can hear them. Not your emotions – you can feel them rising and falling. But you – the one perceiving all of this. Where are you? What you will probably discover is astonishingly simple: you cannot find yourself, because you are not what you always thought you were. You are not a thing that has experiences – you are the space in which experiences appear. You are not the actor in the story – you are the consciousness in which the story unfolds. All our lives, we grow up with the idea that we are a person – a body-mind trying to survive and succeed in the world. We become completely identified with that personal story. But this turns out to be a case of misidentification. It's as if you've spent your whole life thinking you were the main character in a film, when in fact you are the screen on which the film is being shown. And this is where the real story of yourself begins. Not as the person desperately trying to be happy. Not as the seeker trying to become enlightened. Not as the problem that needs to be solved. But as that which is already free. As that which is already whole. As that which is already home. The beginning of myself is the recognition that I have never been away from myself – I just believed that I was someone else. ‘Who am I?’ is not a question to be answered, but a gateway to pass through. On the other side, there is no new answer waiting, but the end of the question itself.

Autor*in

Peter Gabriël Visser
Mijn fysieke lichaam is in Mei 1946 geboren en ik ben een paar maanden daarvoor gedownload in het premature lichaampje dat na de geboorte leerde luisteren naar de naam Peter Gabriël Visser. In de nu achter mij liggende ¾ eeuw zijn er heel wat gebeurtenissen mijn revue gepasseerd. Het was tot op heden een interessant leven met zeer afwisselende ervaringen. Aan veel situaties kan ik mij herinneren, maar het is mij opgevallen dat ik mezelf nooit herinner! Hoe gedetailleerd ik ook tracht mijn verleden te reconstrueren, mezelf herinneren is mij onmogelijk.

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