The secrets hidden within our self-defeat reveal surprisingly simple and paradoxical answers. Universal childhood errors of thinking unconsciously lead us to cause our own pain by pursuing mere illusions, such as pure love, perfection, certainty, security, and grandiose power. The secretly vengeful victim role perpetuates these self-defeating strivings through the unconscious, powerful, and computer-like operations of its satisfying fantasies. We recover when we give up polarized thinking, own all inner parts, accept life's limits and pain, settle for realistic satisfactions, embrace disillusionment, forgive our lengthy folly, and accept reality as balanced and paradoxical. The secrets are acceptance, balance, compromise, deflation, and forgiveness.
Sayers R. Brenner
Defeat From Illusion Secret Self Suffering Victory
«(Dr. Brenner) examines the conscious and unconscious reasons behind masochism and exposes the secretive inner rewards of the self-defeater. But, most importantly, he proposes ways toward enlightenment. I recommend this book highly.» (Vamik D. Volkan, M.D.)
«...a vivid picture of those who attempt to deal with their deep inner rage at an unfair parent by pursuing revenge-seeking self-defeat....Psychotherapists and their patients/clients will particularly benefit from gaining hope for recovery by learning of the key to resolving this tragically common human condition.» (David S. Fuller, M.D.)
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